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But he couldn't be here today. Brian's spent more time in the shower at Camden Yards than I've spent in the majors for my whole career, so if you don't mind, we're going to have to change the topic of the day."I got the expected cheap laugh with the shower remark, and continued. "We're going to have to talk, mostly, about life as a minor-league ballplayer. But my story has a happy ending, because today, I consider myself..." and now I parroted the famous Lou Gehrig line from his poignant farewell speech to the Yankee fans -- "I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth."I didn't do it for laughs, and -- happily -- the people there realized it, and didn't laugh at me. And I emphatically didn't do it to belittle Lou Gehrig's famous -- and highly emotional -- speech. When I'd thought about saying it, earlier, I worried that it might not go over very well. I was relieved that my statement hadn't, apparently, been taken in the wrong spirit, either.I said the words because. That you, DJ, should know how to please a woman and that Jane should know how to please a man. Also, if you go that way, how you should please a man and how Judy should please a woman.MOM!! I am not into guys at all!!OK DJ. No reason to be upset. I just had to get that out there. Would it shock you to know that I have been with women and that your Dad has been with men?HUH? What did you say Mom? You have been with women and Dad has been with men?What the fuck!?!Yes dear, I have munched a rug or two and had mine munched on. Also have you ever heard of the term ‘Air Tight’?Yea ... you don’t mean to tell me that you have done it with 3 men?Mostly ... once was with 2 women with strap-ons and I ate one.Damn Mom!! And what about Dad? You said that he was with men.Yes, your father has sucked a cock or two. Also fucked a man and been fucked by men.DAMN!!!! My fucking parents are fucking kinky as all hell!DJ, we are and we are not ashamed about it.Does Judy know about this or is Dad telling.
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